So…what do you actually do? [Part 1]

Ok, so I was thinking I do another post in English. Since this topic is generally about me. I think anybody can look at pictures and enjoy them without being able to understand whats written there. But I thought this topic should be available to more people. I want to tell you guys some things about me. Things that people wonder about and ask me. Things like: Why do you bake that much? Don’t you go to college? Oh, and don’t you have a job? What are you doing these days?

This will be a little longer – because I have a lot to tell 😉

People who have looked at my „About me“ page know that I’m 26. I’m gonna be 27 in September. And actually I’ve always thought my life would be quite different now. This might sound strange to some but I’ve always wanted to be a young mom. Not that I’m still young lol but I had my life planned out. Finish school at 18, go to college for 4-5 years and become a teacher, do the training and start a family.

Going into teaching was as obvious to me as it is to get dressed every morning. Seriously. Even when I was in school I wanted to be a teacher – teaching kids about things you yourself enjoy – which for me was English, Maths and P.E. I enjoyed tutoring. I like kids – toddlers, those elementary school kids, teenagers, young adults – with all their rough edges.

But I also knew that being a teacher is a pretty comfortable to job as a woman when you want to have children. Once you’re employed by the state, they have to give you a job when you want to start again after parental leave.

And here I am. Struggeling to finish my bachelor’s degree, about to start all over again and pursue a whole new carreer. Oh – and single.

But you know what:

Proverbs-16-9-A-Mans-Heart-close-up
Source -> here

I’m able to decide what to do – for MYSELF. I mean you should always consider what’s best for you but if you’re in a relationship you always need to or rather want to look out for the other person. And where I am right now I’m really glad I only have to take care of myself actually. I’m free to do whatever I want to and go wherever I want to. Which is actually kind of nice 🙂 Although I’ve been living in this town I call my home my entire life and I have no motivation to leave it, yet.

So back to the topic. I started college in 2009 – yes, that was 8 years ago … I’ve been through so much these past years … it’s crazy. Mainly healthwise but also coming from a big family and being the oldest, I think moving out and starting your own life always is a huge step.

I started out by studying English and Maths to become a high school teacher. After a year I realized as much as I enjoyed Maths I just couldn’t do it. We had to go into so much depth along with the people who were majoring in Mathematics and where to become Professors and mad mathematicians hovering in their own spheres full of numbers and equations …. Waaaaay above me. So I quit that and took Computer Science instead. Lol. Even to me it now sounds really geeky and weird. 😀 But I still do enjoy learning how the computer works, all the processes behind the screen, programming (at least the stuff I understand lol) and call me crazy but I love solving computer problems, working with databases and excel.

What I have not learned in these 7 years of taking computer science classes is how to programm websites and use the computer in a creative way. But I teach myself. Also a skill I’ve picked up during my studies.

However, in the end I realised that I cannot teach computer science. I’m a perfectionist. And even though I tried, I never fully understood everything and I had a hard time studying for a test where I just had to learn stuff by heart but not getting it. And let’s be honest. Most people studying computer science are freaks. And I’m definitely not a freak. At least not in that way 😉 So, I always felt like I was the dumb one in class because I would not sit at home progamming my own apps and learning new computer languages in my free time.

So, in class, you just have to explain basic programming and processes. But since some kids taking computer science in school today would totally be better in some things than me and definitely more experienced in IT, I didn’t want to take the chance. It would have meant more frustration in a job that’s already threatening so many people’s health.  And I know I’m a perfect candidate for a burn-out syndrom. Definitely. All the good ones are lol

I’m not going to go into much detail about my college IT classes but let’s just say: in order for me to finish computer science and take the ultimate finals I would have had to take classes I knew from the beginning where sooo frustrating for me and I wouldn’t pass them. Not to mention the finals …

College. 8 years. A lot of struggeling. A lot of frustration. But also a lot of blessings.

So, I’m actually not quite done yet. Currently I’m working on my bachelor’s thesis – well starting to work on it … and I have another paper due in August. And then there’s the vocational training starting in September. That means I will finish college only in part-time. But that’s okay. I know I’m on the right path, doing things I love and supported by someone who actually has a plan lol

I’m really blessed because these past 8 years have shaped me and actually prepared the road I’m on now.

Ok. So this pretty much was Part 1 of explaining, who I am, where I come from and where I want to go. In Part 2 I’m going to talk about what lead me to the decision that I don’t want to be a teacher and start a career as a baker.

If you now are tired of me and will only read this part, take this with you: Even for a perfectionist, your plans are not set in stone!

fd9547de996c2b8fd51586520e0480be--life-plan-pencil

So stay tuned 🙂

Have a great day!

xx Tina

 

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